I hold a Master of Counselling Psychology from Yorkville University. In my work, I utilize IFS, EFT, Compassion-Focused Therapy, ACT, and have completed my Level I with the Vancouver School of Narrative Therapy. Currently I am undergoing certification in the treatment of OCD which includes several approaches including ERP, I-CBT, ACT, Inhibitory Learning, and IFS for OCD. I mainly work with individuals who are struggling with emotion and attachment related themes such as childhood trauma, relationship struggles, self-esteem, as well as anxiety struggles.

I have always been someone who questions why things are or what the purpose might be for the way things are. You will find I bring that critical theory lens into my work, and it often helps me to understand and empathize with people from all walks of life. You will typically find me with my sheep or digging in the earth in my garden. The natural world has always been a grounding place for me and I try to bring that into my office space as well in the hopes that others find it grounding too.

About Aida Freylind

What Do we actually DO in session?

Many people come to therapy with a very understandable expectation: “I’m struggling. The therapist will give me tools to fix this.”

You might be hoping for communication strategies, coping techniques, mindset shifts, or step-by-step plans you can apply immediately. That makes sense. When something hurts, we want relief. When we feel stuck, we want solutions. And some therapy approaches do focus primarily on practical tools and behaviour change.

But not all therapy works that way.

Instead of starting with strategies, this kind of work starts by understanding what is happening underneath the problem. Because most of the time, the issue isn’t just what you’re doing—it’s what is happening internally that keeps driving you back to the same place.

For example:

• You snap at your partner… then feel guilty… then withdraw.

• You procrastinate… then feel shame… then avoid even more.

• You shut down in conflict… then avoid talking about what happened… then feel hurt and resentful that your needs aren’t being understood.

From the outside, it can look like a behaviour problem. So it’s natural to think the answer is a better technique. But often, these behaviours are protective responses. They’re ways you have learned to cope with fear, hurt, rejection, overwhelm, shame, or other experiences that feel difficult to sit with. Sometimes the very things we want to change are also the things that have been helping us avoid something deeper. If we only try to manage the surface behaviour without understanding what is underneath it, the pattern often returns.

That’s why therapy often involves slowing down and getting curious about what is really happening underneath a reaction. If you shut down, lash out, withdraw, or avoid something, we can look at what was happening just before that response. What were you afraid of? What did you need in that moment? What was the feeling underneath the anger, defensiveness, or urge to get away? Sometimes this leads to a part of you that has learned to protect you in a particular way, and sometimes it leads to a deeper fear, hurt, shame, or longing that has been harder to see. The goal is not to judge these responses, but to understand them well enough that you have more choice in how you respond.

At first, this can feel less “practical” than you expected.

But here’s the important part: understanding yourself more deeply is not just talking. It is active change work. When you begin to recognize your patterns, understand what they’re protecting, and develop a different relationship with what is happening inside you, your responses can begin to change. Not because you’re forcing them to—but because you’re no longer simply fighting the surface of the problem. Our brains are incredibly good at leading us to the path of least resistance throughout our lives, but sometimes this ends up looking like chronic anxiety, rumination, avoidance, disconnection from others, or difficulty expressing what we actually feel and need.

That said, your desire for tools isn’t wrong. Wanting something concrete often means you’re tired of suffering. It may mean you’re overwhelmed and need something to hold onto. In therapy, we can absolutely work with that. Sometimes you’ll leave with something specific to notice or practice—like paying attention to what happens right before you withdraw, identifying what you’re feeling underneath anger, or noticing which part of you is taking over in a difficult moment.

The difference is that these “tools” are meant to help you understand yourself more deeply, not simply manage symptoms or distract yourself from what’s underneath.

If therapy feels different than you expected at first, that doesn’t mean it isn’t working. Real change often begins with awareness—with seeing the pattern clearly for the first time. That clarity can feel subtle, but it’s powerful.

Ultimately, the goal isn’t just to help you cope better for a week. It’s to help you develop a deeper connection with yourself and a clearer understanding of what is happening inside you, so that you can begin to respond differently rather than continually finding new ways to manage, suppress, or avoid what hurts.

If you’re unsure about the approach, it’s okay to say so. Therapy works best when we can talk openly about what you’re hoping for and how change happens. Your questions, doubts, and preferences are welcome here.

You deserve support that goes deeper than quick fixes—support that helps you understand yourself, not just manage yourself.